I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Randomize
