I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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