epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
