based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
