I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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