There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you win again, gameday.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
