i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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