hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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