Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
