I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
