before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
