that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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