I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
There's always time for handjobs
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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