she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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