And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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