I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
