"it" just moved
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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