Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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