I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
