please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize