Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
