You're completely useless in the revolution.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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