its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
