either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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