Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Me too!
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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