it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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