i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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