I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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