i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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