I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
