i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
