I accidentally had phone sex last night
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
