once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
