two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
