But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
