I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
