Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
