I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
