Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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