I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
she smelled like a LAN party
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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