Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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