First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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