it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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