SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
