I'm lost and stupid without you.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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