Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
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