thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize