He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
