No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
