Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
