Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
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