If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
