Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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