i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
