Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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