I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
The adults are the big ones right?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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