drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
